English is easy

Do You Think English is Easy???


Can you read these right the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present ..

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP
the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little
word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. I f you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP! . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP , so........... it is time to shut UP.....!

Oh . one more thing:

What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at
night? U-P



Technorati Tags: English - Language

Holiday time

Well this is day 1 of my 10 day break. At this stage there's no plans for going away anywhere, just enjoy being home with the family & get a few projects done, or at least work on them.

My first goal is not sleeping in too long in the mornings. I'm used to getting up at 5:30am on weekdays, so I don't want to get in the habit of getting up late, otherwise when it comes to going back to work next Wednesday, I'm going to find it too hard to get up.

This morning I got up at 7:50am, so if I can keep the same pattern for the next 9 days, I'll be happy with that.

Today we have a friend coming over for lunch before he heads off to Sydney on Wednesday.

One other thing I want to avoid is doing too much or too little with the time I have off. I don't know about you but I sometimes find that when I'm on holiday's I try & do too much stuff & then end up feeling stuffed, or on the other hand, not doing anything in particular & feeling like I've wasted my time off; where's the balance.

How do you normally spend your holiday's? Do you always have to go away, or can you have just as much time at home?




Technorati Tags: Holidays

Just call me Coach

Tomorrow is my last day of work before I take some holidays. Its not long, but I'm sure I'll enjoy my ten day break & go back to work feeling refreshed.

In preparation for my break I have to train a replacement driver to do my run. This means more concentration as I make sure I show him all he needs to know about how my run works, & while I enjoyed the company today, it was a little more tiring.

I remember when I was learning how to do the run eight months ago; there was SO much information to remember & I wondered how I was ever going to get the hang of it; the difference was I had a week of training whereas he has only two days. I guess there's extra work for both trainer & trainee.

Do you remember training for a job & wondering how you would learn so much stuff in a limited time frame. Allot of people give up before giving something a decent go; I usually find that once you have put in a little bit of hard work, it all falls into place & suddenly seems so easy.




Technorati Tags: Training - Courier

Never let go

Some years ago, on a hot summer day in south Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.

His father, working in the yard, saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could.

Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him.

From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father, but the father was much too passionate to let go.

A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator.

Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his father's fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he loved.

The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn't let go."

You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let you go. In the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding on to you.
The Scripture teaches that God loves you. You are a child of God. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way. But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril - and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack. That's when the tug-of-war begins - and if you have the scars of His love on your arms, be very, very grateful. He did not and will not ever let you go.
Please pass this on to those you love. God has blessed you, so that you can be a blessing to others. You just never know where a person is in his/her life and what they are going through.
Never judge another person's scars, because you don't know how they got them. Also, it is so important that we are not selfish, to receive the blessings of these messages, without forwarding them to someone else.

Right now, someone needs to know that God loves them, and you love them, too - enough to not let them go

Always Tell Your Family And Friends How Much You Love Them!!!




Technorati Tags: Stories

How do you???

Here is a bit of light humor for the start of the week.

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Tita nic?
Sanka

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

Technorati Tags: Humor - Jokes

I'm Baaack

Yes my blogging has been dormant for the past ten days; no I have not been away and no, I have not been too busy.

On Friday, October 12th at 8pm, something happened; I have absolutely no idea what, how or why; our computer crashed and I don't just mean that it froze; it completely crashed, system failure, access denied, goodnight. After several attempts at re booting the system, I gave up in disgust & packed it up ready to go into the shop the next morning.

The technician attempted to log in to the system but kept getting error messages; he said the only solution was a complete re installation of the operating system.

I was thinking about upgrading to a bigger hard-drive anyway, but was putting it off due to cost, so I thought I might as well get that done while it was there, plus new anti-virus software.

So even though it was really bad timing, we now have a fresh clutter free system, with double the hard-drive space, and it's much quicker too.

The only problem now is that I have to go & re-install all the different programmes we had, if I can remember them all. Thankfully all our documents, photo's, video's etc, we all recovered.

Hopefully I can now get back into regular blogging again.

Btw, Firefox is much better than Explorer:)




Technorati Tags: Computers - Blogging - Microsoft

Fear

Are there things that you're afraid of but you don't know why? Today during my morning run, I was confronted with something that made me afraid.

A light bulb had blown in one of the elevators in the city that I use every day at work, and so when the doors opened to let me in, I saw that it was dark inside & once the doors were to shut it would be even darker & I could not enter the elevator.

I don't think I'm afraid of the dark (although I wonder sometimes), & I'm up and down elevators all day. If there had have been someone else with me it would've been fine, but I could not step into that dark elevator by myself. In the end I waited a couple of minutes longer for the next elevator, that did have lights on.

It can be a little embarrassing as an adult telling people that you have a problem with dark places, but now that I think about it, there have been times in the past where I have been in similar situations with similar results. Perhaps this insight gives me something to work on.

So my next challenge is to conquer that elevator if it is dark again; I'll keep you posted.



Technorati Tags: Fear - Darkness - Elevators

Get out there & enjoy yourself

Rodney Olsen from The Journey wrote a good post the other day about disciplining ourselves to do the things we love.

I was thinking about how true this has regularly been in my own life. There are so many things that I love to do, but for a long time have not pursued them, or made the time to do them.

Maybe if I re prioritise my spare time, I could use that time to do a few projects that I have loose ends with, or spend more time with my family.

There are so many other things in life that distract us from what we love to do, like the idiot box in the corner of the lounge, or sitting in front of the computer for hours on end (I have been known to do this on more than one occasion).

I think if we got out & made a conscious effort to do those things we enjoy, life would be allot more enjoyable. I'll make the effort if you will!



Technorati Tags: Discipline - Life

How will you be remembered?

I was watching some footage of the funeral service for football star Chris Mainwaring on telly last night, and they showed a few snippets from the eulogy's given by his friends & family. Everyone was saying what they would remember him for & what was important to him in life.

This got me thinking what I would want people to remember me for. If I could write my own eulogy it would go something like this:

Scott had a love for life, he was a proud husband & father & gave his all to those he loved. He was a loyal, faithful friend to all those he met. He strived to serve God wholeheartedly & was always trying to be his best.

I'm not quite 29 years old so God willing I have a long way to go until this eulogy is required. It is interesting though to think about how you would want to be remembered. For now though, I have so much to do in life, this one can stay in the archives.



Technorati Tags: Death

Keep up to date

This week has been a little lacking in the blogging arena. I put this down to time, & tiredness. When I come home from work there's family stuff to do like dinner, dishes, bathing baby & then there are TV shows that I like to watch.

Sometimes the mind wants to do one thing but a tired body often has it's way.

If you are a regular reader of this blog, & would like to be kept informed when I've posted something, without having to check all the time, can I encourage you to use on e of the subscription options in the sidebar.

Entering your email address will send you no more than one email per day from Feedburner to let you know that I've updated. If I don't update you won't get an email.

If you use a feed reader such as Bloglines, just click on the link on the sidebar or at the end of each post to choose your feed reader to use.

I'll try to update as often as I can. Thanks for being part of Scott's Simple Life.



Technorati Tags: Blogging - Subscribe

Who enjoys public holiday's?

It was a public holiday here in Perth on Monday; Queens birthday (why do we need to celebrate her birthday anyway), so we all had the day off work, which is always nice.

Unfortunately in my job as a courier, there are certain jobs which always get done on the Monday, which meant that we had to do them, plus our regular Tuesday work on Tuesday.

We also get small boxes from the eastern states every day to deliver as well, & because the eastern states don't have the same public holidays as we do here in the west, when we return to work on Tuesday, there is double the boxes waiting for us.

It puts a bit of a damper on the extra day off because you know that there is going to be a busy day ahead of you.

We were pleasantly surprised on Tuesday; our customers from Sydney had realized that we were not working on Monday & had not sent any boxes, and so there was only the regular work & no double ups.

So it has not been too bad so far; it has been just like a regular week, only shorter. Two days to go until the weekend.

So do you enjoy short working weeks, or do you have to fit 5 days of work into 4? Do you enjoy the extra day off, or dread returning to an extra workload.



Technorati Tags: Public Holiday - Queens Birthday